10 Myths About Preparing for Marriage - Jeffry H. Larson
Myth #1: There is only one right person in the world for you to marry.
Reality: There are several individuals to whom you could be happily married.
Myth #2: Until a person finds the perfect person to marry, he or she should not be satisfied.
Reality: No one is perfect.
Myth #3: You should feel totally competent as a future spouse before you decide to get married.
Reality: A person should feel competent to be a spouse, though some feelings of anxiety are natural.
Myth #4: You should be happy with anyone you choose to marry if you try hard enough.
Reality: It takes two mature and well-adjusted individuals to make a marriage work, so one needs to be reasonably sensitive and selective in the choice of a mate.
Myth #5: You should choose someone to marry whose personal characteristics are opposite from your own.
Reality: A person should choose someone to marry whose personal characteristics are similar to his or her own.
Myth #6: Being in love with someone is sufficient reason to marry that person.
Reality: Although romantic love is important, especially in the early stage of a relationship, other factors are equally or more important to marital satisfaction and should be considered before marriage.
Myth #7: Choosing someone to marry is a "decision of the heart."
Reality: Choosing someone to marry is decision of the heart and the head.
Myth #8: Living together will prepare you for marriage and improve your chances of being happily married.
Reality: Cohabitation may help us get to know each other better, but will not serve as a trial marriage or increase our chances of being happily married.
Myth #9: Choosing a mate should be easy.
Reality: Choosing a mate is not easy; the decision should be carefully thought out.
Myth #10: Preparing for marriage "just comes naturally."
Reality: Preparing for marriage is learned and is based on sound information and personal assessment.
These myths and interpretations can be found in Jeffry Larson's book, "Should we stay together". Larson, J. H. (2000). Should we stay together (pp. 3-12). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
© 2005 Before Forever - School of Family Life